Modern Family For the Win!: December 5th-11th

This week in TV ROCKED. Finally, something happens on 90210. Naomi is assigned to Holly’s b-day party, not knowing the relation to her boss. The two had just started working out their friendship, but the rift causes Holly to hate Naomi for stealing her mom’s attention, which she has never been able to get, and Naomi catches Austin hooking up with Holly. Obviously, something has to go wrong in every episode. Annie breaks into Jeremy’s and records him saying that he hated his grandma and that he would do anything to get the money from the old hag. Finally, her life can move on. Liam, in a quest to find Annie after finding out about her escort job, gets in a motorcycle accident right when Annie left him a message wanting to get back with him. Navid gets beaten up by his uncle’s partners when they catch him with a wire, and ends up in the hospital, and Silver catches him talking to the detective, forcing her back with the new guy. YAWN. On 2 broke girls, after a much awaited return, Caroline and Max try to get chestnut a job since its too cold for him to stay outside. However, he’s to out of shape to be an actor. Eventually, Caroline convinces Peach, who is auditioning for a spot on the real housewives, that her horse is in need. She faces her former life in order to save Chestnut, and Max cries during their farewell. This was the most emotional episode yet, and I loved it. Caroline’s comedic skills are honed more and more each week. In the best episode of the season for Gossip girl, Lilly throws Charlie a coming out party, and she sends a tip to GG that Chuck and Blair are meeting to take the attention away from her, as her boyfriend hopes to reveal her identity once and for all. Thus, paparazzi follow the two, who FINALLY plan to be together despite the paternity of her child, and the two end up in a massive car accident and in the hospital. Chucks condition is unclear, but Blair awakes. Charlie finally realizes she should leave town, as she hurt the people she has grown to love. At the Malibu Beach Party from hell on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, drunken Taylor one more time causes a 50-minute screaming session that made my ears bleed. We get it, your battered and its really sad, but Bravo could have done a little better with the editing. Wasted Brandy makes me sick, and Taylor’s cigarette scene was really difficult to watch. PLEASE LET IT END. On Modern Family, the gang realizes they will not be together for Christmas. Phil plans an impromptu express Christmas. Everything goes wrong. Mitch and Alex run over the tree, Gloria and Luke/LOOK run over the angel ornament, Manny accidentally stun-guns Phil and he ends up crushing the 200$ baseball card he got for Jay, and Cam is hurt when Jay doesn’t remember the significance of the wine cork he saved and gave him as a gift. In the end, Jay provides fake snow in the backyard and once again, humor is combined with actual, emotional Christmas cheer. Modern Family is the gem that saves this blog and my hope for the future of television every week.

Florenseperable from my TV!:November 14th -20th

This week, I wasn’t at all impressed with what TV had to offer me. All these CW shows and reality shows need to quit dragging out the plot for 4 episode arches and get to the point already. For example, on 90210 Teddy’s wedding footage is leaked, as expected, and his uncles campaign and his reputation is threatened. It’s actually very, very sad and disheartening for the gay community. Liam somehow becomes a supermodel, though his body is pretty lackluster. He is forced into a contract, and we know something bad will eventually happen. Annie tries to pay for Dixon’s rehab by continuing her disgusting relationship with Patrick, gag. With Raj’s cancer gone, Ivy and Raj seek to plan their futures, his as a doctor and hers as a photographer, YAWN! These two are the most boring couple to hit TV since Peter Brady and Adrienne Curry. On 2 broke girls, Max and Caroline are hired to sell cupcakes at an art show, which turns out to be hosted by Johnny’s girlfriend, who seems to know something is going on between them. Caroline helps Max escape, and helps her get over Johnny and face her feelings. I can’t help but love every second of these two becoming closer. I still want her to end up with Johnny in the end, though. On Gossip girl, I’m not really sure what the gang did but they ended up at some obscure party with performers and masks. Charlie’s boyfriend shows up as Serena’s date, and Charlie panics. I want Charlie to be exposed and gone forever. How annoying can this plotline get? Diana tries to use Serena to take down gossip girl, and releases a list of all the email tips ever sent in, making Serena mad at Nate and Nate mad at Diana. Who the hell is Diana anyway? On the real housewives of Beverly Hills, Lisa holds a tea party, that I wish I was invited to, something she just “threw together” that blows any set up out of the water. Taylor confronts Lisa about her condemning manner, and the party EXPLODES. Taylor’s erratic behavior is now just sad, as we know the cause of it. But really, I cannot listen to one more minute of these women fight like this. It was actually nausea inducing. Lisa says shell treat Taylor better, they put the feud behind them, and all the ladies confront Taylor for claiming Russell beats her, an uncomfortable subject for all involved. On Modern family, a fire destroys a neighbor’s house and Claire organizes a drive to help the family. Cam ends up driving a delivery truck. I can’t really describe the hilarity that follows. The best part of the episode, Phil gives Jay a massage for back problems. Midway Jay claims he loves Phil, a huge mistake because of Phil’s desperate desire for Jay’s approval. At that instant, he receives a call offering him a new job opportunity, Jay doesn’t realize, and Phil takes the call outside in excitement. Jay thinks he left because he said I love you and Phil couldn’t handle the joy. The whole miscommunication was one of the funniest moments on TV thus far.