Modern Family For the Win!: December 5th-11th

This week in TV ROCKED. Finally, something happens on 90210. Naomi is assigned to Holly’s b-day party, not knowing the relation to her boss. The two had just started working out their friendship, but the rift causes Holly to hate Naomi for stealing her mom’s attention, which she has never been able to get, and Naomi catches Austin hooking up with Holly. Obviously, something has to go wrong in every episode. Annie breaks into Jeremy’s and records him saying that he hated his grandma and that he would do anything to get the money from the old hag. Finally, her life can move on. Liam, in a quest to find Annie after finding out about her escort job, gets in a motorcycle accident right when Annie left him a message wanting to get back with him. Navid gets beaten up by his uncle’s partners when they catch him with a wire, and ends up in the hospital, and Silver catches him talking to the detective, forcing her back with the new guy. YAWN. On 2 broke girls, after a much awaited return, Caroline and Max try to get chestnut a job since its too cold for him to stay outside. However, he’s to out of shape to be an actor. Eventually, Caroline convinces Peach, who is auditioning for a spot on the real housewives, that her horse is in need. She faces her former life in order to save Chestnut, and Max cries during their farewell. This was the most emotional episode yet, and I loved it. Caroline’s comedic skills are honed more and more each week. In the best episode of the season for Gossip girl, Lilly throws Charlie a coming out party, and she sends a tip to GG that Chuck and Blair are meeting to take the attention away from her, as her boyfriend hopes to reveal her identity once and for all. Thus, paparazzi follow the two, who FINALLY plan to be together despite the paternity of her child, and the two end up in a massive car accident and in the hospital. Chucks condition is unclear, but Blair awakes. Charlie finally realizes she should leave town, as she hurt the people she has grown to love. At the Malibu Beach Party from hell on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, drunken Taylor one more time causes a 50-minute screaming session that made my ears bleed. We get it, your battered and its really sad, but Bravo could have done a little better with the editing. Wasted Brandy makes me sick, and Taylor’s cigarette scene was really difficult to watch. PLEASE LET IT END. On Modern Family, the gang realizes they will not be together for Christmas. Phil plans an impromptu express Christmas. Everything goes wrong. Mitch and Alex run over the tree, Gloria and Luke/LOOK run over the angel ornament, Manny accidentally stun-guns Phil and he ends up crushing the 200$ baseball card he got for Jay, and Cam is hurt when Jay doesn’t remember the significance of the wine cork he saved and gave him as a gift. In the end, Jay provides fake snow in the backyard and once again, humor is combined with actual, emotional Christmas cheer. Modern Family is the gem that saves this blog and my hope for the future of television every week.

Florenseperable from my TV!:November 14th -20th

This week, I wasn’t at all impressed with what TV had to offer me. All these CW shows and reality shows need to quit dragging out the plot for 4 episode arches and get to the point already. For example, on 90210 Teddy’s wedding footage is leaked, as expected, and his uncles campaign and his reputation is threatened. It’s actually very, very sad and disheartening for the gay community. Liam somehow becomes a supermodel, though his body is pretty lackluster. He is forced into a contract, and we know something bad will eventually happen. Annie tries to pay for Dixon’s rehab by continuing her disgusting relationship with Patrick, gag. With Raj’s cancer gone, Ivy and Raj seek to plan their futures, his as a doctor and hers as a photographer, YAWN! These two are the most boring couple to hit TV since Peter Brady and Adrienne Curry. On 2 broke girls, Max and Caroline are hired to sell cupcakes at an art show, which turns out to be hosted by Johnny’s girlfriend, who seems to know something is going on between them. Caroline helps Max escape, and helps her get over Johnny and face her feelings. I can’t help but love every second of these two becoming closer. I still want her to end up with Johnny in the end, though. On Gossip girl, I’m not really sure what the gang did but they ended up at some obscure party with performers and masks. Charlie’s boyfriend shows up as Serena’s date, and Charlie panics. I want Charlie to be exposed and gone forever. How annoying can this plotline get? Diana tries to use Serena to take down gossip girl, and releases a list of all the email tips ever sent in, making Serena mad at Nate and Nate mad at Diana. Who the hell is Diana anyway? On the real housewives of Beverly Hills, Lisa holds a tea party, that I wish I was invited to, something she just “threw together” that blows any set up out of the water. Taylor confronts Lisa about her condemning manner, and the party EXPLODES. Taylor’s erratic behavior is now just sad, as we know the cause of it. But really, I cannot listen to one more minute of these women fight like this. It was actually nausea inducing. Lisa says shell treat Taylor better, they put the feud behind them, and all the ladies confront Taylor for claiming Russell beats her, an uncomfortable subject for all involved. On Modern family, a fire destroys a neighbor’s house and Claire organizes a drive to help the family. Cam ends up driving a delivery truck. I can’t really describe the hilarity that follows. The best part of the episode, Phil gives Jay a massage for back problems. Midway Jay claims he loves Phil, a huge mistake because of Phil’s desperate desire for Jay’s approval. At that instant, he receives a call offering him a new job opportunity, Jay doesn’t realize, and Phil takes the call outside in excitement. Jay thinks he left because he said I love you and Phil couldn’t handle the joy. The whole miscommunication was one of the funniest moments on TV thus far.

Post-Amsterelaxation: November 7th-13th

This week, I was welcomed home with all the drama I have grown to love and expect from my favorite shows. On 90210, Naomi forces her friends on an impromptu trip to Las Vegas so she can follow Austin on his birthday weekend. His dad turns out to be a very famous country star, and the biggest asshole in the world. In an attempt to “help” him and stand up against his dad, she pushes him further away. Liam plays in a poker tournament hosted by Vinny from Jersey Shore, random. He nearly loses all his modeling money, and wins it back in the end, obviously. Teddy gets married to his boyfriend in a fake wedding ceremony with all his friends present, a beautiful moment for the show and for the character. However, Silver films it all, and in a rush to get home accidentally sends it to Marissa, who then uses it for her campaign in support of gay rights, humiliating teddy and ruining their friendship and his newfound pride. Dixon and Adrianna grow closer together, but she is resistant due to his addiction. Navid’s plot has become boring, take down your uncle or shut up. On 2 broke girls Caroline accepts a job organizing for hoarders. Max’s one liners related to this are unparalleled. Johnny invites Max to help tag a billboard, they kiss, and finally Max is portrayed as a real person. Yay for character development. PS did anyone else recognize this is the same Johnny from What I Like About You? Mind blow. Gossip girl returned from a hiatus, Blair makes a competition to choose her bridesmaids, and bridezilla emerges in full form. Nate uses Charlie to make Diana jealous, and we all know Diana will attempt to ruin Charlie’s life. Serena’s boss uses Serena to get the movie rights to Dan’s book, and they are both played in the process. I’m really getting sick of Dan and his book at this point. Serena ignores her feelings and gets the okay from Dan, whose agent is not happy with the decision. On the real housewives of Beverly Hills, Paul throws a night of beauty treatments for the lady’s, typical. Kim finally admits the cocktail of meds she’s on that explains her alcohol addiction. We only hope for more collagen injections in Taylors deteriorating face. Kyle holds a séance and Adrienne for the first time shows emotion in relation to her father being called upon. Kyle discovers Kim’s new boyfriend, and in true Kyle fashion makes it the most dramatic attention seeking moment possible. Her boyfriend is CREEPY though, so we understand why.

2MUCHTV : October 31st-November 6th

This week on television, all my favorite shows did not fail to disappoint. On 90210, the drama erupted, as per usual. Naomi planned a joint sorority party with her nemesis Holly. Holly however, had gained her trust only to betray her, helping her to plan dancers with risky outfits, which eventually got Naomi, kicked off sorority council. However, in the end, Naomi got the man, and Holly continued to seek revenge. Meanwhile, Navid’s plan with his uncle fails; his uncle had sent him on a test mission and he didn’t get the proof he needed. Silver learns that Marissa had hired actors to publicize her campaign. Adrianna handcuffs herself to Dixon in order to help him stay clean, in the process they begin falling in love, an unexpected moment this season. Annie gives Patrick another chance after catching him cheating on her, and this entire plot line has made me sick from the beginning. On 2 broke girls, Max and Caroline enroll in a pastry class to learn to make pretty cupcakes. Max’s confidence is hit and the two grow closer. This hilarious episode pins them against two bitchy Italian sisters with mob money. This show really never disappoints. On the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Lisa’s daughter’s engagement party is thrown at Muhammad’s, circus performers, camels, and the most magnificent party ever is shown, in true Lisa fashion. Kyle annoys us and seeks attention at the end, and Kim doesn’t show because her secret relationship, which might explain her alcohol addiction, is revealed. Taylor isn’t invited, because of Russell’s relationship with Muhammed, and every mention of Russell sends shivers up my spine to this day. Modern family finally returns, the one show that never, ever disappoints. Phil builds a tree house for Luke. Gloria wants Jay to be more spontaneous and his son slips him a placebo that makes him think he’s on E, really hilarious stuff. The best part of the show, Cameron tries to prove that he doesn’t appear gay and pick up a woman. Eventually, he convinces her to act like she actually believes he was straight to prove a point to Mitch. They have a fake break up, and I die of laughter. Phil meets a new black friend across the street, and their comedy together is 2D4.